Birth Parent Gift Idea: Adoption/Inspirational Books

Adoption is difficult for all sides of the equation. Give your birth parents a boost with an inspirational book--perhaps even one focused on adoption.

If you have any favorite adoption books, please list them in the comments for everyone to enjoy.

Great Gift Idea for: Anytime
Great Gift for: Birthmother and Birthfather

Annual Adoption Walk in Salt Lake City

Alison with her son at the FSA walk in 2008.

Alison Lowe,

FSA National Board member and adoptive mother talks about the Annual Adoption Walk in Salt Lake City. Traditionally this walk has been held in November during Adoption Awareness Month.

We host a walk to help raise awareness of the positive benefits of adoption in our community. It is our hope that our walk will gather and inspire those whose lives have been or may be influenced by the positive effects of adoption and to show our support. (Do you then want them to do something? Or just something like a support group?)

I start by reserving the park and pavilion through the city’s Parks department. I then send everyone in the surrounding FSA agencies the date of the event. I update the walk flier and send it to those managing the FSA ‘blogs’ that are in the Salt Lake valley, to FSA chairs and to other adoption agencies. I also do a posting on our FSA Facebook group, and of course invite all my friends and family. This year I had help sending out all the letters for donations of prizes (gift certificates etc.) which is what we do next.

Advertising and getting donations takes up a big chunk of the time in between. Having a theme color (orange...‘orange you glad for adoption’) is also helpful in building unity and excitement. This year we also were lucky to have a person on our FSA board who works professionally in the public relations industry and was able to take on the garnering of media attention for our group.

We invited Governor Jon Huntsman and Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker and several television and radio stations to the walk. We were successful in getting on ABC 4’s Good Things Utah to speak on adoption, and also on FOX 13 news. Our goal is to get more media coverage of adoption and the event, so more can learn and think about adoption as a positive option to an unplanned pregnancy.

I have 10-15 volunteers sign up for ‘game day’ and they arrive early and staff certain areas of the park pavilion. This year we had a singles ward from the University of Utah volunteer and they were great. The event ran smoothly. We have items from the FSA store there (adoption t-shirts, Frisbees, etc.) to help spread the word of adoption. We also have donated breakfast snack items, water and hot chocolate available to participants for free. This year instead of donating a prize to raffle off, Chipotle asked if they could cater our whole event! So everyone got 2 free delicious burritos! They said they’d love to come next year. We get great community involvement with generous donations. At least $700 dollars worth of in kind donations.

We usually get 175-200 people attending and my other goal is to grow the attendance. It seems there are 30 return attendees and then the rest are all new people. I wish I could find a way to have them all return year after year, then we’d be at 500 people at least! We plan for next year to have more fun things for the children and families to do before and after the walk, such as a clown with balloon tying, face painting etc. I really want to let our community see what adoption is all about and grow this event every year. There are many benefits of having this walk and it being open to the public. It is great exercise and a great visual way to see us all together supporting a great cause. It is good for children to see this kind of support early in life. I am and advocate for adoption and don’t see much point in celebrating adoption behind closed doors... adoption isn’t a secret anymore. It is time for it to be celebrated out of doors and for all to see.

Book Review: "Unsung Lullabies"

Fridrik Rafn Gudmundsson,
a new adoptive father and current LDS Family Services intern in the Salt Lake agency reviews
Unsung Lullabies.


Unsung Lullabies is a self-help book on infertility that acknowledges the emotional, physical, and financial trauma and costs of infertility. It also delves deeper into the psychological issues infertile couples may face. The couples often experience insurmountable sense of loss and may feel like they are going crazy. The book aims to help these couples reduce their sense of helplessness and isolation; identify their mates’ coping styles to erase unfair expectations; and listen to their conscious and unconscious dreams about having a family (i.e. their unsung lullabies) to mourn the losses and move on.

The book has a number of strengths. First, the authors are psychologists who have faced infertility themselves and run the Center for Reproductive Psychology, which is dedicated to help couples face the psychological impact of infertility. Hence, there is both wisdom and compassion buried in the pages of this book. The book is written for lay persons, and thus it is very accessible and easy to read. The biggest drawback of the book is the lack of references for additional reading. If this is an area of interest, then there are only a handful of resources mentioned in the back for further research. However, as an introductory text to the psychological aspects of infertility, Unsung Lullabies is a must-read.

For professional use, the book is well organized and addresses a variety of infertility issues logically and sequentially. First, it raises the reader’s awareness on the issues at hand and how they are likely to be experienced. Second, it addresses issues of loss and pain associated with infertility and legitimizes them. Third, it gives practical application of grieving and coping with infertility. And fourth, it helps the couple reframe their personal reproductive story and come to terms with it, regardless of the outcome of their struggle. As such, it has excellent therapeutic value for both the lay person and professional alike.

Jaffe, J., Diamond, M. O., Diamond, D. J. (2005). Unsung lullabies: Understanding and coping with infertility. New York, NY: St. Martin’s Griffin (pp. 274)

Finding Friday: Email your Adoption Info to all of your Contacts

{Finding Idea: Email your online adoption profile address to everyone in your email contacts.}

Writing Your Letter:

Write a letter to your family and friends informing them that you are unable to bear children and inviting them to assist in locating a birth mother who might consider placing her child. Don't expect immediate results. It is generally necessary to send periodic follow-up letters for several reasons:

• They may assume someone else will do what you've asked.
• They have an idea of what you want but may not know exactly how to go about it.
• They may have a desire to help, but either forget or procrastinate.
• Unless you keep them informed they may feel that you've been successful and no longer need their help ...so it's important to follow-up regularly.

Points to Remember:

1. Give them the information they need.
1. You are seeking a child.
2. They can play a role in the finding process.
3. What they can do.
4. Example of how others have assisted with adoption.
2. Be brief and to the point.
3. Include a picture they can easily show to interested parties.

Sample Letter:

Dear Family and Friends,

We hope this letter finds you well. As you may already know, we have been married for ten years and as yet have not been able to have children. After many tests and no success we have decided to seek a child through adoption. We are writing you to ask for any help you can give us in building our family through adoption.

If you become aware of a birth mother who is looking to place her child in a loving home, we would appreciate help in recommending us to the birth mother. If she is willing to consider us as adoptive parents, please contact us at (phone number) or you may contact our caseworker (name of caseworker) at LDS Family Services, (phone number).

We have enclosed a photo of ourselves that could be shown to a potential birth mother. If she would like more information, we or (name of caseworker) can provide her with additional photos and information concerning our background, family, careers, hobbies, and interests. Birth parents may also view our online profile at www.itsaboutlove.org by clicking on "Search Adoptive Profiles" and typing in "JohnandJane" (no spaces between names).

We are most grateful for any assistance you may provide in building our family.

Sincerely,



(Name of Adoptive Couple)

*Information taken from Someone's Missing...

Birth Parent Gift Idea: A Lock of Hair

Save hair from their first haircut and put it in a little box or bag for the birthmother.

Great Idea for: One Year
Appropriate for: Birthmother

Finding Friday: "Someone's Missing"

What is Finding Friday?

Each Friday we will introduce a finding idea. We feel this is an effort that we can all contribute to whether we are finding for our own families, our friends or our neighbors.

Each adoptive couple has access to the booklet Someone's Missing through the agency. (Please email us or contact your worker if you don't have this booklet and would like one.) In the future, many ideas will come from Someone's Missing as well as from you--the adoptive community. If you have a finding effort that we have not highlighted, send us an email or make a comment at the end of this post and we will make you a guest blogger while highlighting your idea. We are all here to help each other ...especially when it comes to finding.

Here is the Foreword from the Someone's Missing booklet:

The practice of adoption has steadily evolved over the years. Not long ago, LDS Family Services' caseworkers managed the adoptive couple selection process when a baby was available for adoption. Couples relied completely on the agency in all aspects of the adoption. During this time, couples were not encouraged to assist the agency in its finding efforts.

Times have changed. Several societal and cultural standards have played a role in the birth parents' decision-making process. Fewer birth parents place their babies for adoption as single parenting and abortion have become more common alternatives. The result? Adoptive couples are finding it more and more difficult to adopt.

Because of the changing culture of adoption, agencies and prospective adoptive parents have also been required to change. Agencies are beginning to provide more services to birth parents and couples have seen the need to take a more proactive role in making their adoption happen. Recent experience has shown that couples who being utilizing their own finding resources coupled with efforts of the adoption agency have a greater chance of experiencing a faster, more successful adoption experience. Conversely, couples that rely completely on the adoption agency may not be placed with as soon.

The purpose of this booklet (and Finding Fridays) is to introduce adoptive couples to principles that influence a successful adoption experience. The message strongly conveyed is that couples need to become intimately involved and proactive in their adoption process including organizing a plan of action that will increase the likelihood of a successful adoption.

Birth Parent Gift Idea: A Day in the Life Book

Document a day in the life of the child including the things they say and do. Take pictures throughout the day of their normal routine and all the things that get them excited. The birth parents will love seeing what their day is like.

Great Gift Idea For: Anytime
Appropriate For: Birthmother and Birthfather

Ohio Hospital Baskets

Basket Project Overview

In Ohio, all hospitals have a list of adoption agencies that they use when referring potential birth parents. We deliver a gift basket to each hospital and request that they put LDS Family Services on this list. Before starting this program an examination of a group of local hospitals was completed. Through this research, we obtained a greater understanding on how LDS Family Services could help assist these hospitals regarding their adoption needs.


What our baskets consist of:

1. Our baskets consist of a blanket with LDS Family Service Adoption logo “Adoption It’s About Love…..” and our 1-800 number embroidered on it.

2. A stuffed animal, usually a bear, holding an embroidered blanket attached to its hand. The bear’s embroidered blanket had our logo and number on it also.

3. A smaller basket with LDS Family Services business cards in it.

4. Adoption Flyers with pull tabs to be hung up at the hospital.

5. Pass-along cards.

6. LDS Family Service Pamphlets

The main goal of the basket was to get our name on the hospital’s referral list. A secondary goal was to have something tangible that the hospital staff can give out to prospective birth parents to take home.

We keep track of the hospitals visited using an excel database. We track the hospital names, addresses and the names of contact persons where we have made deliveries. We also keep track of the individuals making the deliveries as well as the email address, phone numbers and the date when deliveries were made.

We are currently working on our next phase of our outreach. We are working on several ideas to refine our efforts so we will have greater impact on our meetings.