Finding Friday: Send Out Information Packets

{Finding Idea: Create and Distribute Information Packets}

Send out Information Packets to family, friends, Church members, medical professionals, neighbors, adoption attorneys ...and anyone you can think of that has contact with unwed parents.

Packets can include:

• Quotes from Church leaders regarding adoption and unwed parents
• Your website address and case worker's name and phone number
• Your birth parent letter and collage
• Information explaining adoption
• Business card
• Promotion pens/pencils

*Information taken from Someone's Missing...

The FSA Store

Did you know that FSA has a store full of adoption and FSA related goodies?


Backpacks, totes, frisbees, pens and pencils, hats, wristbands, license plate holders, sippy cups, car decals and antenna attachments, pins, necklaces, children's shirts, bibs, baby beanies, adult chirts, Nalgene waterbottles and onesies are all available in the shop.


Follow these directions to see the full brochure, print the order form and find out where to mail it in:

1. Go to www.familiessupportingadoption.org
2. On the right-hand side, click on "FSA Member Login"
3. On the new pink screen, click on the box on the right that says, "FSA Member Sign in"
4. Either log in or create a log in for yourself (it only takes a minute or two)
5. In the blue box on the right, click on "FSA Store"

Foster Care: Do You Have a Little Love to Share?

Foster Care: Do You Have a Little Love to Share?
By Brenda Horrocks, FSA Co-Vice Chair

Here are some interesting facts....

U.S. NEWBORN

You may be surprised to learn that approximately 30,000 newborns are adopted domestically each year. About half of these adoptions are facilitated by adoption agencies. The other half are completed with the assistance of adoption attorneys.

Average total cost: $27,000 – $35,000 (varies widely)

U.S. FOSTER

(Adoption out of Foster Care)

The number held steady around 51,000 from 2002 to 2007, then shot up to 55,000 in 2008.

Profile of Children: Average age 6

Average total cost: $0 - $10,000; 89% receive ongoing subsidies

Adoptive Families, April 2010 – 2010 Adoption Options, pg. 29, Kay Marner

Brad and I have been foster parents for almost 3 years. In that time we have been blessed to care for 8 children, all 4 years or younger. Five of these children were in our home a short period of time but they touched our hearts. The other three children were brand new babies that we picked up at the hospital. Baby Ashanti was in our home from 2 days old to 8 months old. Baby Chevey was in our care from 10 days old to almost 6 months old. Baby Spencer was placed with us at 1 day old and remained in the NICU for 3 weeks. In the end Ashanti and Chevey went to a parent who had worked hard to have them in their life. It was incredibly hard to say goodbye…especially the first time around. It was a very difficult experience but we learned a lot about love. Sometime after Chevey went back to his parents I saw this poem and it brought new perspective.

"If you're listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders." ~Andrew Harvey

While the pain was real and it was hard to move forward we would never change the experiences. Knowing these incredible children was worth the pain of goodbye.

So what happened to Baby Spencer?? Well we just finalized his adoption a week ago. Spencer’s Birth Mother wanted Spencer to have a better life than she had. She wanted him to have a Mom and a Dad and to be happy. She placed Spencer under the “Safe Haven” Law and then even relinquished before a judge. We were in the courtroom and witnessed her incredible courage! I will never forget this experience.

I have thought often about “what if’. In the beginning it was “what if” we have to give the baby back? Now I look back and say “what if” we let the fear of letting go take over and we didn’t become foster parents? We wouldn’t have been in the place we needed to be for Heavenly Father to work this miracle.

When I read the statistics listed above I found them interesting. The statistics not only highlight was in going on around us but it also shows one of the many benefits of adopting through foster care…..cost. We paid ZERO to adopt Spencer….all fee’s were paid by the state. Our Attorney fee’s to finalize were reimbursed to us. Another bonus is the check we would receive each month while Spencer was considered a “foster child”. The state sent money to us to help take care of him.

So my question to you is….

Do you have a little love to share?

Are you letting fear dictate your options??

We did too...but then we took a chance and got licensed…we were nervous but did it anyway.

It was hard to let go...REALLY HARD!

But we would do it again because the rewards were greater than the pain.

And in the end....we got what we were praying for...

and now he has what he needs....a FAMILY!!!

Don't let fear stop you from creating your family.

For information on become a foster to adopt family click on your state below.

Alabama FC - http://www.dhr.state.al.us/page.asp?pageid=331

Arkanas FC - http://www.fosterarkansas.org/

Arizona FC - https://www.azdes.gov/dcyf/adoption/

Alaska FC - http://www.hss.state.ak.us/ocs/FosterCare/notready.htm

California FC - http://www.dss.cahwnet.gov/cdssweb/pg123.htm

Colorado FC - http://www.cdhs.state.co.us/childWelfare/FosterCare.htm

Connecticut FC - http://www.ct.gov/dcf/cwp/view.asp?a=2561&q=314316

Delaware FC - http://kids.delaware.gov/fs/fostercare.shtml

Florida FC - http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/fostercare/

Georgia FC - http://www.dfcs.dhr.georgia.gov/portal/site/DHS-DFCS/menuitem.83054cda1a084d2f7da1df8dda1010a0/?vgnextoid=cb57b20694f44210VgnVCM100000bf01010aRCRD

Hawaii FC - http://hawaii.gov/dhs/protection/social_services/child_welfare/Foster

Idaho FC - http://www.healthandwelfare.idaho.gov/?TabId=75

Indiana FC - http://www.ifcaa.org/

Illinois FC - http://www.state.il.us/dcfs/foster/index.shtml

Iowa FC - http://www.iakids.org/

Kansas - In the state of Kansas, foster care is privatized. This means that, typically, when a child comes into state custody, the Kansas Department of Social and Rehabilitation Services (SRS) will have a private agency handle the case with the SRS overseeing it. http://www.srskansas.org/CFS/programservices.htm

Kentucky FC - http://chfs.ky.gov/dcbs/dpp/faqfostercare.htm

Louisiana FC - http://www.dss.state.la.us/index.cfm?md=pagebuilder&tmp=home&pid=195

Maine FC - http://www.afamilyforme.org/foster_process.html

Maryland FC - http://www.dhr.state.md.us/ssa/foster/index.php

Massachusetts FC - http://www.mass.gov/?pageID=eohhs2subtopic&L=4&sid=Eeohhs2&L0=Home&L1=Consumer&L2=Family+Services&L3=Foster+Care

Michigan FC - http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7-124-5452_7117-16476--,00.html

Minnesota FC - http://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/idcplg?IdcService=GET_DYNAMIC_CONVERSION&RevisionSelectionMethod=LatestReleased&dDocName=id_009780

Mississippi FC - http://www.mdhs.state.ms.us/fcs_howfos.html

Missouri FC - http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/fostercare/index.htm

Montana FC - http://www.dphhs.mt.gov/cfsd/relatedtopics/fostercare.shtml

Nebraska FC - http://www.hhs.state.ne.us/foc/focindex.htm

Nevada FC - http://www.dcfs.state.nv.us/DCFS_PlaceRes.htm

New Hampshire FC - http://www.dhhs.state.nh.us/DHHS/FCADOPTION/foster-parent.htm

New Jersey FC - http://www.state.nj.us/njfosteradopt/foster/

New Mexico FC - http://www.cyfd.org/content/foster-or-adopt-new-mexico-youth

New York FC - http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/fostercare/requirements.asp

North Carolina FC - http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/fostercare/index.htm

North Dakota FC - http://www.nd.gov/dhs/services/childfamily/fostercare/

Ohio FC - http://jfs.ohio.gov/ocf/fostercarelicensing.stm

Oklahoma FC - http://www.okdhs.org/programsandservices/foster/

Oregon FC - http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/children/fostercare/

Pennsylvania FC - http://www.dpw.state.pa.us/servicesprograms/childwelfare/003676623.htm

Rhode Island FC - http://www.dcyf.state.ri.us/

South Carolina FC - https://dss.sc.gov/content/providers/foster.aspx

South Dakota FC - http://dss.sd.gov/fostercare/parent/

Tennessee FC - http://www.state.tn.us/youth/fostercare/becomefosterparent.htm

Texas FC - http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/child_protection/services.asp

Utah FC - http://www.utahfostercare.org/

Vermont FC - http://dcf.vermont.gov/projectfamily/foster_care

Virgina Fc - http://www.dss.virginia.gov/family/fc/index.html

Washington FC - http://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/fosterparents/be_fosterintro.asp

West Virgina FC - http://www.wvdhhr.org/bcf/children_adult/foster/inquire.asp

Wisconsin FC - http://dcf.wisconsin.gov/children/foster/progserv/factsheet.htm

Wyoming FC - http://dfsweb.state.wy.us/protective-services/foster-care/index.html

This is What it's ALL About

Get involved with FSA!
Don't know how? Email us.
fsablog@gmail.com

Article: "Could I Let My Baby Go?"

Could I Let My Baby Go?

Despite the support I was given, I was scared and unsure about my future. One day I talked to my sister about my situation. She could sense my confusion, and she told me something that changed my perspective. Her humbling words were: “Children have the right to be born to parents who can provide love, shelter, and food. But most of all, they have the right to a mother and a father to love them. A basic eternal family unit is a child’s right. But you need to pray to know what you should do.”

At times it felt as though the forces of the adversary were working overtime to prevent the adoption from taking place. It seemed the last thing Satan wanted was for another child to be sealed to a family in the temple. But the harder Satan worked, the harder I tried to grow close to the Lord, and the closer I grew to the Lord, the stronger I became.

I learned that the impossible is in fact possible if one turns to the Lord for help. I had done what our Father in Heaven wanted me to do. I was so grateful for Austin; his strong spirit helped me through many long months. I helped give him life, but he helped give me a second chance at life.

Finding Friday: Be Involved in FSA

West Fest Parade Group 2008

{Finding Idea: Get Involved in FSA}

Be Involved in FSA:

• Another adoptive family may hear of a situation that doesn't work for them but will for you.
• Be on the front lines in promoting adoption. You never know who might approach you.
• Volunteering keeps your face in front of your worker and can't be forgotten.
• Present on adoption in your community.
• Give or arrange for a birth parent presentation in your ward. Discuss the agency's new adoption policy.
• Help your family and friends develop a commitment to your adoption.

*Information taken from Someone's Missing...

The Blessing of Infertility

The Blessing of Infertility
By Kim Hatch, Co-Chair of the West Valley Chapter

Infertility was an answer to my prayers.

No. I am not kidding or being sarcastic. Throughout this last year, I realized infertility blessed me in ways, I had not expected.

The other night I started thinking about how much I now treasure my days. I thought about; all the many pictures I take, all the times I spend holding her while she is sleeping, even though I have other things needing to get done, about when I wake up just to watch her sleep, and I am relieved to see I did not have any regrets about how I spend my days now.

This realization was a great comfort to me. About 5 years ago when we started talking about having a family, I was terrified. The thought of being responsible for another life, the realization of the responsibility was overwhelming. Of course babies are fun and cute, but babies grow to be children and children grow to be teenagers and teenagers grow to be adults. And that seems like a lot. Could I really do it? Was I ready to do it? Honestly, I was terrified.

I was scared that I would not be able to deal with all the stress. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to cause our children unnecessary hurt. These feelings were very real to me, and my husband was trying to be helpful and understanding, but he didn't have the answers. I prayed and I fasted about this, I needed to know that I could be a good mother that I was ready, but the fears weren’t going away. So intense was this fear of being a parent that I went into therapy to deal with it. (This was before we really started "trying", when we were just talking about starting our family.)

I am so grateful that I took that step. My husband, Karsten, was skeptical at first but once he realized I was talking someone elses ear off about my fears, and learning how to deal with it, he was relieved. It wasn't anything drastic or earth moving, I just dealt with the reasons for the fears and the issues and slowly I realized I really wanted the opportunity to be a parent. With the Lord’s help I came to realize I had a deep desire to become a parent. I was ready to be a mom.

Then if you fast-forward three years, when we got the official word that having biological children would not be possible and we were facing at our decisions. It would have been easy at that point to just say okay, well it's a sign we shouldn't be parents. If I still had those fears, it could have happened, but by that time I had the desire to be a mother to children to take on all that responsibility.

As I was pondering the last year, I marveled at how amazing Charlee is, and what an honor it is to be her mom, to be chosen to be her mom. Tears over took me and I knew for me personally that if I didn't have the trial of infertility I would not treasure these moments the same. I would have taken being a mother for granted, I would be a different mother, I might still have my doubts about being a mother.

I came to know for me, that infertility, was an answer to my earlier prayer; wanting to know that I was ready and able to be a mother. It was an answer because it made me work harder and seek out ways to have children. Adopting a child does not take away the hurt of infertility, it doesn’t cure it, and it is not the fix. Adoption brought about understanding for me why I needed infertility in my life. And with understanding the burden has become lighter.

I am not saying that infertile mothers are better or worse, I don't know how you could compare the two. These are my feelings, about my experience. I am saying for me I needed more time to really prepare, I needed to fight and work hard to get my family so it wasn't something I took lightly. My infertility forced me work through my fears and doubts about being a parent, and without it, I do not know if I would have realized how much I wanted to be a mother.

Another great blessing of infertility is it made me turn to my Heavenly Father more. It made me lean on him and to exercise my faith. It allowed me to see his hand in my life and to feel of his unconditional love for our family and Charlee's birth family. My testimony of Heavenly Fathers unconditional love for His children has grown.

The bitterness of infertility is horrible, sometimes almost unbearable. And now at the same time that has made the sweetness of being a mother better then I could have dreamed.

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss.
That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

~Elder Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love It"

Did you miss last year's National Conference?

Banquet Dinner, National Conference 2009

Did you miss last year's National Conference?

If so, there is hope! Many of the most popular and informative classes at the conference were recorded and are available for you to view/read online or learn from again if you were able to attend last year's conference!


Just follow these steps:

1. Go to http://providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,8128-1-4450-1,00.html
2. On the right-hand side, click on "FSA Member Login"
3. On the new pink screen, click on the box on the right that says, "FSA Member Sign in"
4. Either log in or create a log in for yourself (it only takes a minute or two)
5. In the blue box on the right, click on "National/Regional Conference Information and Presentations"

Once there you will have access to presentations, handouts and even PowerPoint presentations from the last six conferences including presentations on:

• Adoption and the Gospel
• Open Adoption
• Infertility
• Birth Family Experiences
• For Birth Parents: Dating After Placement
• For Birth Parents: Life After Placement
  
• Birth Parent and Other Panels
• Advocacy
• Finding
• Coping with a Failed Placement
• Even Keynote Addresses from Ardith Kapp, Glen Beck and Troy Dunn
• ...And much, much more.

Provo FSA's Birth Mother Walk

Birth Mother Walk 2009.

This upcoming Mother's Day weekend, a special kind of mother will be honored in Utah County.

Many Utahns don't realize that Birth Mother's Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother's Day each year. The Provo chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, a national organization promoting adoption, is celebrating Birth Mother's Day by holding a "celebrate adoption walk" on Saturday May 8 at 10 a.m. at the Provo High School outdoor track.

This unique community event celebrates the sacrifices and choices of birth mothers and their important role in helping create adoptive families. Birth mothers, adoptive families and everyone whose lives have been influenced by adoption are invited to participate in Saturday's festivities.

This walk is a way for the community to honor the sacrifices of birth mothers and for everyone to come together and celebrate how adoption changes families and changes lives.

Families and children of all ages are invited to attend and show community support for adoption and birth mothers on this special day. Snacks and drinks will be available for all participants. Along with the commemorative walk around the track, other activities and games are planned for this Saturday morning event sponsored by Families Supporting Adoption (FSA).

FSA is a national organization with chapters all over the country. These chapters provide information about adoption and support to those associated with the adoption process, including birth mothers, birth fathers and adoptive couples.

Birth Mother's Day (or First Mother's Day) has been observed on the Saturday before Mother's Day since 1990 when it was first celebrated in Seattle. There are an estimated 6 million adoptees in the United States.

Contact Info:

Dave Broberg, Families Supporting Adoption Provo Chapter Media Contact

davebroberg at gmail dot com

Article: "A Special Child"

A Special Child

by Theodore M. Burton

This is a favorite part:

There they dressed in white clothes and dressed the little boy in white clothes too. Then they all knelt down at an altar in the temple. A man who held a special priesthood sealed that little boy to his new father and mother so that the family could be together forever. Now this boy really was their own special child, not only during this life, but even after death. If they all did what was right and loved one another, they could all live together with Jesus in heaven. Now that baby really was their special child!

"There really is such a thing as love at first sight..."

Finding Friday: The Beginning Stages

Starting a "Finding Plan" can be an overwhelming thought. Here are some tips to help you stay on target.

Before you begin remember to...

• Have a plan
• Pace Yourself
• Pray for inspiration
• Use your talents and creativity

*Taken from Someone's Missing...

Finding Friday: Promote Yourself

{Finding Idea: Pass Out Promotional Items Printed With Your Adoption Info}

You can promote yourself the same way LDS Family Services promotes the agency:

• Create brochures about your family
• Buy pens and pencils with your names, Web address, case worker's name and phone number
• Use Families Supporting Adoption fashion pins, Families Supporting Adoption stickers, or create a custom license plate cover
• Design and mail a magnet-backed message that your adoption support team might put on their fridge, reminding them of your adoption goal and how to contact you

*Information taken from Someone's Missing... packet available at your local LDSFS agency.

Easter Sunday

Finding Friday: Heather Maez & the Online Profile

The Maez Family

It wanted it to be perfect.
I wanted it to be the biggest brightest most vibrant attention getting spiritually moving introduction and profile any birthmother had ever seen!

In hopes that we would not get lost in the crowd, I wanted to be the couple that caught her eye, in expectations that we would not have to wait for our special gifts from the Lord. A birthmother and her baby. I worked on our collage for a few weeks. I just had to keep adding things, but still try to reflect who we were. I was so worried that we didn’t have enough pictures or enough of a variety, and after all was said and done, so I thought, my wonderful husband looked at it and said let me make a few changes, I was thinking, “Yah, o.k. you just try to make it better, I have slaved over this for weeks.” I had already sent a copy to our caseworker to be approved. Well he did make a few small changes and we sent another copy over to be viewed. I was very humbled to hear our caseworker say that the second one was perfect and had a little bit more interest to it then the first one. Of course she had no idea who worked on what so I did not take it personal. I actually praised my husband! I was just happy to have it completed.

So when it came to doing our online profile, I made sure I listened to my husband’s advice. As we neared the completion of the picture choices and personal information, I was ready to start adding the big letters, bright colors, huge pictures, and add links to our family website and blog (that we had not yet even created). I wanted to pretty much make our profile unavoidable. I didn’t want to call our caseworker just yet and tell her that our online profile was ready to view and be posted. I thought I have so much more to include! But my wise husband once again offered his help and advice and suggested we at least let her know that it’s ready to be posted and that I could keep adding as much as I wanted, and that way it will at least be available for birthparents to view now. So I agreed, after all that did sound like a logical explanation and he was right on the other one. So we alerted our caseworker and she said it would be available to view online in the next few days. We were a little dazed to see OUR profile online where we had viewed so many other wonderful profiles just days before. We were now among other loving couples that were ready to open their hearts and homes.

My husband and I were very surprised to receive a phone call from our caseworker very soon after our profile had been posted online, and she had good news for us. To make a very long, emotional, and amazingly spiritual story a little bit shorter for you, we met a remarkable birthmother that chose us to be the parents of her baby girl. When we asked her how she found us she shared this story, she had browsed online at some adoptive couples after her sister gave her the idea. She came across a wonderful couple and called her caseworker to set up a meeting with them, and she was sad to hear that they were actually no longer available for placement. So she continued looking and found another couple that she wanted to meet with, and again she called her caseworker, and again she was told that this couple was not available either.

Apparently things can change quickly! So she kept searching and when she came across an adoptive couple’s profile that really interested her, she immediately called her caseworker and asked her to set up a meeting as soon as possible, she did not want to hear the same news she had heard before, and she was thrilled to hear that a meeting had been set up for the next week. That last couple she met with was my husband and I.

I have discovered that you don’t have to be perfect or look the best or have the biggest brightest flashing sign that singles you out of the crowd to receive blessings. Be yourself and the rest will fall into place. The Lord works in mysterious ways and you may not know how your story will unfold but I urge you, open the possibilities to anything that could bring you to your happy ending.

St. Louis FSA's Care Kits

For National Adoption Month St. Louis FSA wanted to do an act of service for women who come into LDSFS who are experiencing a crisis pregnancy. They wanted these women to know that they were loved and valued regardless of their decision to place. They made them little pampering kits. The bags were sewn using donated material and were decorated with a floral hair clip they made. The St.Louis FSA Chairperson, Elizabeth Ouellette's ward Relief Society found out about it and wanted to make 10 bags as well. They will be making 10 more at an FSA meeting.

Most of the kits include:

• A pregnancy book such as "What to Expect when You Are Expecting." (These can be found rather cheaply on-line and at resale shops.)
• Scented lotion
• Scented body wash
• Bath Salts
• Scented Candle
• Bath puff
• Toothpaste
• Purse sized pack of tissues
• Journal
• Pen
• Pack of note cards or stationary
• Mints/gum
• Chapstick or lip gloss

Folder filled with:

• Uplifting Articles from the Ensign on adoption.
• Information on adoption, especially for potential birth parents from the itsaboutlove website
• A nice picture of Christ
• A Proclamation on the Family
• A pamphlet for LDSFS w/ local contact information on it.
• A handmade card filled will warm wishes for a safe and healthy pregnancy

St. Louis FSA donatied half of the bags to the Bridgeton, MO LDSFS office and the other half to the Kansas City LDSFS office. The Relief Society of the Mount Vernon, IL Ward put together 10 bags and the Relief Society of The Cape Girardeau, MO ward sewed 20 bags.

Everyone in the St. Louis FSA has a great deal of love for birthmoms and potential birthmoms and wanted a way to express that love to them. The donations were very generous.